My First Year: What Grew In The Garden

My first garden has come to its end. For all my effort, the final harvest yielded a few micro carrots, some giant okra that look like they were grown with magic beans, and one sad cantaloupe that , like my sense of humor, never really matured.

• 

  I’m worried this sort of thing could lead to cannibalism… or worse… tofu.

• 

• 

  The rubber snake kept the rats from eating this one cantaloupe.

I believe a large part of my problem was that I didn’t loosen the soil. They said “no-till” and by God I didn’t even rake it. Because of this, the ground was harder than a whore’s heart and my carrots couldn’t grow. I’m not sure why my okra trunks grew 10′ tall with 1″ thick but when I pulled up the stalks, the root system was no bigger than the span of my open hand and just as flat.

2020 Garden Preparation

Now is the time to plan for next year. So here are the steps I am taking during the winter to prepare for the spring:

• Mow all the plants into mulch
• Use my pitch fork to break up the soil
• Clean the chicken coop out and toss it on the garden
• Spread out the straw bales from my failed potato garden
• Get drunk
• Have a cry
• Cover with a tarp and wait for the spring

The Bucket Rat Trap

While the video above worked… mine was a failure. That fat ass rat ate all the bate off the pipe. Despite this, I still think it was a good idea – it just needs to be scaled up. With Templeton sized rats, they most likely can just hang on the side of the bucket as they eat the peanut butter… or they might have spread it on a piece of bread with a pocket knife – I’m just guessing here.

I may try this again with a rubber maid container and a larger pipe with barrings on each end. For now though, I don’t have time… or energy.

Time & Energy

My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends – it gives a lovely light!

Edna St. Vincent Millay

I couldn’t have said it better. I really need a break.